Help, My Sister's a Death Eater!
by garbage disposal
Summary: REWRITE, NEW TITLE OF Like, Oh Say, Ted Tonks. The story of Andromeda Black's seventh year at Hogwarts, with Marauders, swots, spirits posing as sisters, and forbidden love for Muggleborns! Ah, teenagers...
1. Cissa, Bella, and the Last Day of Hols

Chapter 1: Cissa, Bella, and The Last Day of Hols

Demurely, I looked through the wooden stair railings. _God, look at all those people_. It was my coming-out party and Mum and Dad had taken care to invite all of the purebloods in all of England. I was very reticent and people scared me. It wasn't fair that they were doing this to me on the last day of hols. And before my seventh-year too. Blech. "Andy!" Cissa called me from the bottom of the flight of stairs. She laughed gaily. "Oh, Andy, you _have_ to come down here! The appetizers are simply to _die_ for!"

Cissa was so carefree. Sometimes I wish I was like her, in the facts that she could meet anyone and not sweat a drop and that she was drop-dead gorgeous. Like tonight. One of Mum's closest slaves had come to curl Cissa's soft blonde hair. It flared out from each side of her face and framed it perfectly. She had huge blue eyes that took up most of her small, round face. Tonight she was wearing a carnation choker with a rhinestone buckle and a similarly coloured fitted strapless dress. She looked so regal, it made me wish that I looked good in pink.

But that was not going to make me ignore the fact she had just called me Andy.

"It's _Andromeda_," I said, tiredly.

"Oh, whatever! Come down!" Cissa said, laughing.

I felt my throat beginning to constrict, my eyes beginning to water. There was no way in heaven or hell I was going down there where all those people were. _Cajole me all you want, Cissa_.

"...No."

"Mum's going to have your head on a stick prepared with some pretty parsley garnishes if you don't come down here," Cissa said.

I honestly didn't understand what the big fuss was. So I was seventeen and "officially" a woman. Whoop-dee-do. If I was such a big woman, I should just be able to stay in my room if I felt like it. I mean, I was a Black.

"If you're not going to come down, then I'm just going to have to get Mum to ready you for decapitation."

"_Fine_," I grumbled. I got up to my feet and headed down the staircase. "I'm coming, just don't take my head."

I decided to walk by Cissa to go find some interesting people to talk to. They all seemed like a bunch of old boring sods. _Ugh, and I'm going to have to marry one of those old sods' sons. _Mum was borderline obsessive about marrying all of us Black sisters to good pureblood boys. God forbid I should fall in love with a Muggle-born…like, oh say, Ted Tonks.

We saw Mum, in all her thin, bony glory in the middle of the room. "Mum! I got Andy down here!"

"_Andromeda_."

Mum ignored this minor quarrel. She always ignored quarrels like that. We were the gems of the Black family. Even if the middle daughter happened to have been sorted into Ravenclaw instead of the traditional Slytherin. Even if the middle daughter happened to be in love with a Muggle-born.

Like, oh say, Ted Tonks.

"Andromeda, nice of you to join us," she said, smiling. Her cheekbones throbbed out giving her a skeletal look. No matter. She could just cover it up with tons of cosmetics. Like _everyone_ in this household did. "I'm sure you've met Bacchus Casanova before seeing as he's in your year," she said, shoving a stocky, black-haired boy at me. "He's a _good_ boy." _Yeah, good meaning pureblood_.

Here was the part of the whole coming-out party I hated: the part where Mum shoved a bunch of bighead prats at us. And they were almost always older.

"Oh, go socialize," Mum said, pointing to an open piece of marble around ten metres away from Mum and Cissa. I walked by Bacchus, feeling like a trophy escort. That was what I was doomed to. Being a trophy and never in love. I was a Black. Bacchus gave me his arm, but I declined to hold onto it. _You're a fast one_.

"How do you think the party's going so far?" I squeezed a question out of me. I really didn't know him since he was in Slytherin and I was in Ravenclaw. Mum tended to ignore things like that.

"Fine."

We stood there a couple more minutes. I looked at the cherubim and seraphim painted upon our ballroom ceiling. When I had looked at that long enough, I turned to look at a man choking on some punch. Quite interesting. _Oh, how stimulating is this conversation_. "Um...do you like being around crowds like this?" _What kind of a prat question was that? You're a hopeless socializer, Andromeda Black_.

"They're okay."

"Yeah, same here."

Time for an escape plan. My mind ran through all of the possible excuses..._restroom_...no, I had just used that one on Orpheus Singleton two weeks ago. _Makeup check_...no, I was only wearing some dusty rose lip gloss and not much else. I thought and thought. _Appetizers_! That was it. I'd go get some appetizers and make a run for it there.

"Um, would you excuse me? I'd like to go check out the appetizers," I said, curtsying, then running.

Cissa sighted me and began to follow me. "Is he your boyfriend?" she inquired.

"_Cissa_," I said, not looking back at my little sister. "He said all of five words to me. If we're together, then it's going nowhere fast." Ted and I talked to each other all the time. _Stop obsessing about him_.

"Oh. Mum wants you to marry him."

"Yeah, well, Mum wants me to marry every bloke that comes along, now doesn't she?" I asked Cissa. She shrugged.

I heard an all-too familiar voice by the appetizer table. "Is that my sister Andromeda?" my older sister Bellatrix said, lowering her eyebrows at me. I hadn't seen Bella since she moved out of our house nearly two months ago. We weren't exactly each other's favourite people in the world. She looked evilly happy. I just knew she was with the Death Eaters. No one's that happy in the Black family if you're not getting married or not a Death Eater. It just isn't possible.

"No, it's your second cousin removed Jill," I said, sneering. Bella gave me the same look back. "Of course I'm Andromeda. Don't look any different than the last time you saw me."

Bella sniffed. "Oh, I suppose you're right. But isn't that what you say when you haven't seen someone in a long while? Doesn't matter. I'd like for you two to follow me." Cissa and I looked at each other curiously. This sounded fishy. Of course, Bella would try and brainwash us.

She led us to a back cupboard I never even knew we had. Sitting in a circle were almost five of Bella's friends. They looked at us curiously, as if to ask, "Is this all Bella has?" Well, excuse us for not being Bellatrix Black. We're just her less significant sisters, Andromeda and Narcissa.

"This is Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, Walter Macnair, Antonin Dolohov, Augustus Rookwood, Avery, and Lucius Malfoy, our newest member. And as you might have guessed, we're all here for a reason."

I was trying my best to listen intently, but really, it was quite amusing seeing Cissa stare at Lucius. Lucius looked a lot like Cissa - except when it came to Cissa's...womanly features. But the resemblance was there.

"What's your sister's name?" Lucius asked Bella. Bella had a hideous flat look upon her face that made her look just like Mum.

"You're not going to ask the reason why we're all here or anything like that?"

"First I want to know -"

"The blonde one's Narcissa and the brunette's Andromeda, now can we _please_ go on with our plans?" Bella asked the crowd. The crowd nodded obediently.

"Good," Bella said. "The reason we are all here is to introduce some possible Death Eaters to the whole organization. Of course, they have to finish Hogwarts first, but...time to prepare their minds for possible post-Hogwarts career choices."

Ugh. This all sounded so gross. Bella was disgusting me with the whole "post-Hogwarts career choices" spiel and Cissa was disgusting me with the whole drooling over Lucius thing. Yep. It was official: my sisters were certified insane after that incident. One was an evil genius and the other was a boy-crazy blonde.

"Sit down with us, Andromeda," Bella said. Cissa was practically sitting in Lucius' lap, and Lucius didn't look like he was having such a bad time, even though he was as _old as Bellatrix!_ I sat down, not knowing what else to do. "Good. First order of business is to call our leader and ask him what he wishes for us to do."

"Call?" I said. I began to gulp. All of Bella's Death Eater friends were stuffed into one of our back cupboards, Cissa was in love with one of them, Bella was going to call her leader, and I was in love with a man I could never marry. I'd give anything to be standing with Bacchus in that pregnant pause. At least we weren't calling an evil overlord. "You mean, like on a Muggle telephone?"

Bella gave me a dirty look and the Death Eaters began to whisper. Just my luck I turned stupid whenever things started to look bad. "You know what I mean by call."

"Right. So it _is _on the telephone."

A soft chorus of laughter was heard in the far corners of the cupboard and Bella gave them the death stare. "Silence!" she said. "You insolent, little...let's just call our Most High Lord."

Lucius began to draw his attention away from Cissa, and she, looking dejected, sat there by herself. The Death Eaters began to move in together until a taut, rigid circle of evil minions was formed. I fell on my back and began to crab walk backwards. Bella started a chant that sounded Latin, and everyone else joined in. In the middle of the circle appeared a small, glowing, hooded figure. _Holy hell…a small, glowing version of Lord Voldemort has just appeared in my broom cupboard!_

"Hello, Dark Lord," Bella said, cheerfully like Lord Voldemort was her best friend in the world. Probably was.

"Hello, Bella. Who do you have with you?" he said, hissing just like a snake. It gave me goosebumps up and down my spine. I inched over towards Cissa, who looked even paler than usual. I put my arm around her to help keep her steady.

Bella looked around for one last roll call. "The Lestrange brothers, Malfoy, Macnair, Dolohov, Rookwood, and Avery. And myself, of course."

"Of course," he repeated. The small figure looked towards Cissa and I. My eyes grew wide and my knees began to knock. I could barely talk to a seventh-year Slytherin, and now I found myself square against the Dark Lord. "Who are those two?"

Bella bit her painted black bottom lip. "Well...I was going to get to that next. They're my little sisters. The blonde one's Narcissa and she's fourteen and the brunette's Andromeda. She's in her seventh-year at Hogwarts."

"Are they planning on joining us after they finish Hogwarts?"

"Oh no, I'm going to marry well and be a housewife for the rest of my life," Cissa smiled. "That's the best job for me."

"Her mind is able to be molded still. I like her. Get her in the circle," Voldemort said to Bella. Bella beckoned Cissa, who squeezed in next to her and Lucius.

"And you, Andromeda?" he pointed at me.

A surge of confidence was born inside of me at that moment. I knew what I had

to say in order to feel good about myself. And it was most definitely _not_ saying I was going to be a housewife like Cissa. "No. Quite honestly, I might be working against you lot."

Everyone gasped. Voldemort looked absolutely infuriated with me for not being a gullible wench and Bella for having a righteous sister like me in the first place. _Excellent_. "Someone take her down." They all drew their wands. This was one part I didn't have a plan for.

I ran towards the door to try and escape. I did a flop on the floor and felt around on the wall. It was so damn dark in the cupboard, where the hell was the doorknob? Suddenly, my fingers came upon a bulbous mass of metal. _Yes_.

"Don't let her get away!" Voldemort screamed.

"Someone get that girl!" Bella shrieked.

"Come, Cissa!" I shouted at Cissa. She shook her head, but I grabbed her wrist anyway. We both ran out of the back cupboard which - wouldn't you know? - was right by the back door. Carefully I tread the tile in my orange pumps, trying to make as little noise as possible.

Slowly and surely, I turned the last doorknob to freedom and ran into the glorious meadow by our house. The wind blew and messed up my light brown hair, which I had let run free in the wind. The beautiful and intricate curls in Cissa's hair came undone and she rubbed off the crimson lipstick that she had been wearing. We both lay down, laughing, in the grass. But not because anything particularly funny had happened.

"Oh, why are we laughing?" Cissa said after five minutes.

"I don't know!"

And we laughed again. This time, we laughed until our abdomens hurt. I placed a hand on my stomach and said, "I am going to vomit if I laugh anymore."

We stood up and threw our high heels by the large stone walls. "Let's go, Cissy!" I called her. As we ran down the street we lived on, I thought of Cissa as my sister instead of just some dumb girl who happened to live with me and maybe share some genes with me.

Before Mum called the Ministry to go searching for the young Black heiresses, we ran home. As we came to our heels, Cissa went to go grab them. "Leave them," I laughed. "We're royalty, remember?"

That got us laughing again. When we came in the house, most of the crowd had left. I began to breathe as normal. Mum looked at us angrily. She could look like an angry skeleton from hell about to unleash her wrath if she was in that mood. It turns out that was the way she was when we came home.

"Andromeda and Narcissa _Black_!" she said, putting emphasis on our last names.

"Where in all of England were you?"

"Outside," I said nonchalantly.

"You don't dare take that tone with me, Andromeda!"

"Yeah, I kind of already did."

"Go to your room!" she yelled at me.

"Too late!" I shrieked back. "I was already on my way!"

"Then, don't let silly old me get in your way!"

I sat in my room for most of the night thinking about the events that night. I had met a "good" boy named Bacchus who was about as interesting as the colour beige, I had witnessed the Dark Lord on the rise being called in one of our back closets, I had bonded with my little sister, and had finally duked it out with my mum. Not an average day in the life of Andromeda Black.

Knock, knock. "Door's open!"

It was Cissa. "I don't know if Mum knows but I'm camping out in your room tonight."

"Cool with me."

"That was so awesome in the ballroom. You totally told Mum off."

"I've had that urge for quite some time."

"No doubt."

I took my wand out of its case on my nightstand and calmly whispered, "_Nox_!"

Soon the whole room was dim. With Cissa and I both in our pyjamas and dressing gowns, it felt almost like a slumber party. "Guess what, Andy?"

"Andromeda."

You never guessed what!"

"Fine. What?" I asked Cissa.

"I've met the man I'm going to marry," Cissa nodded solemnly. I chuckled.

"I'd hardly call Lucius a man. I don't know if I'd even call him male," I said, sending me into hysterics. Cissa just laid there looking mad.

"Honestly, Lucius is perfect for me. And the Malfoys are--of course--an honourable pureblood family. Mum won't think twice of it!" Cissa was barely able to contain her excitement.

Lucky her. She had someone Mum would love. Stupid and pureblood. A classic "good" boy. _I wonder_, I thought to myself, _what Mum would say if I were to ever marry a Muggle-born. _

Like, oh say, Ted Tonks.


	2. An Accidental Date

Chapter 2: An Accidental Date

When we arrived at King's Cross, Mum kissed Cissa and I on the cheeks. She absolutely wouldn't let me Apparate there, saying it was "too dangerous" and that she'd like to "bid farewell to Narcissa and you at the same time". Oh, _now_ she's the mother hen.

I sat on the train, waiting for my best friend Josie Berkhardt. Josie and I had sat by each other ever since our first years, when Josie sat by me because she thought that being friends with me, a Black, would make her the grooviest thing since Leif Garrett. It just made her insane.

We were both so certain we'd be in Slytherin. Her because she's absolutely vile (damn right, she always moves my castle when I'm not looking), and me because there's no other option for a Black. Six years later, we're really glad we're Ravenclaws.

I saw Josie's long black hair at the front of the train. Josie has _very _distinctive hair. It's always down in some sort of shaggy hairdo and it's so black it's almost blue. Once it was blue. But that was for House Spirit Day in fifth-year (it was discontinued when Yolande Addams turned herself into a badger. She did win the contest, however). Her eyes are a light mixture of blue, gray, and green. One year, Ted Tonks called her "zombie eyes", which led to some hard feelings between Josie and Ted.

I fell in love with him.

"Is that Andromeda?" Josie asked me. I nodded and we hugged. We made a pact in second-year to never see each other during the summer. I know, it sounds sort of odd, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. At least, that's the principle we've always lived by. "What's been up in the Black household?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"No, not especially."

"Too bad. Cissa is obsessing over Lucius Malfoy -"

"He's not so bad," Josie said, thoughtfully. She sat down next to me in my compartment and set her owl cage down on the opposite bench. "A bit feminine."

"That's what I told her. That must be attractive. I don't know. I really didn't go over it with her. Bella and a bunch of her creepy friends called the Dark Lord in one of our closets.

Then, I spoke out about him, which meant, of course, that I had to die. So I escaped. Pretty dull summer compared to the one where Bella blew up our summer home in Madrid."

"And this all happened over a graduation of months?" Josie asked me. Bradford, her owl, started to hoot, and she gently cooed, "Shut up."

"No, all in one day," I said. Josie's jaw dropped. No offence to any of those wonderful people, but the Berkhardts' lives weren't as fast-paced as ours. I think it helped to have a sister who was a Death Eater.

We sat there silent. Suddenly, a flaxen-haired god walked past us. _Oh, be still my beating heart_, I told my heart. It was none other than the one who captured my heart, put it on a leash, and let it run around in a fenced yard, Ted Tonks.

"Andy!" he called me. Unlike Cissa, I didn't care whether he called me Andy or Andromeda or even late for dinner. He was _talking to me_. "Josie! You two!"

"Sit here!" I said almost subconsciously. Ted grinned and sat down right by me. I felt like I was going to have cardiac arrest. Oh, this wasn't fair! Cissa was the silly, love struck, fourteen-year-old, not me. I began to smack my chest to get my heart to stop flipping out.

"Andy," he looked at me curiously, "what the hell are you doing?"

I am a bloody idiot. I stopped and grinned way too big at him. Ted looked back at me pathetically. Josie, I could tell, was wincing for me, feeling obviously embarrassed for me. Hell, I felt embarrassed for Josie for feeling embarrassed for me.

"Listen, I'd like to ask you something, Andy - Andy? Are you listening?" (I wasn't.)

"After the whole Sorting ceremony's over, d'you...erm...want to meet me by the set of armour by the kitchen so we can...do something?"

"Suuuure..," I said, dazedly. Ted smiled weakly and left to go sit with some of his other friends.

Josie broke the pristine glass window of silence that had been established shortly thereafter with a gale of laughter. "Rom, you are sometimes the stupidest thing on Earth. I'm even surprised you managed to land a date with him."

"A date?" I said, gingerly blinking my forest-green eyes. No one ever told _me_ I was going on a date. Maybe those vibrations coming out of Ted's throat while I was staring at him had something to do with it...

"He just asked you out," Josie shrugged. "And you said yes. Usually, that warrants a date."

We looked furtively at each other, smirking evil grins. Then we both cackled, hysterical with excitement, until we couldn't cackle anymore.

-------------------------------

At the cobalt Ravenclaw table, Josie and I watched the timid little eleven-year-old demons for the last time. They all walked up to McGonagall, so scared about what they possibly would have to do to determine what House to be in. One of those little whelps was my own cousin Regulus Black. He'd most likely be Sorted into Slytherin like almost every other Black (besides myself and my other little cousin Sirius, who was two years below Cissa). I didn't even want to watch.

McGonagall, that old cat, explained to them that all they really had to do was sit under the Hat and wait for it to decide. They all looked relieved, except for Regulus, who had looked like he knew what was going to happen the whole time.

As McGonagall called "Aatan, Midimi," I sipped on my water and casually waited for

Reg to get up there. I didn't even notice that Midimi had joined us at Ravenclaw in my casual stance.

Soon it came to "Black, Regulus!"

There was a hush over the whole Great Hall. It was as if a breeze had blown threw the large room and told everyone, _Hush up! It's a Black! Traditionally these sods go to Slytherin, but the last Black went to Gryffindor, and another time, some six years ago, a Black girl they call "Andromeda" went to Ravenclaw!_ The Hat sat upon his crown of dark

hair like a crown itself and he looked smug. That was a face I could smack.

"SLYTHERIN!"

He grinned and sat by Cissa at the Slytherin table. I looked at Josie uneasily.

Another pureblood fanatic Black.

The Sorting seemed like it'd never end. As soon as I thought it was over, yet another little midget'd get called up to be sorted. Why couldn't they all decide themselves what House to be in? The last first-year was called and Dumbledore did his annual spiel, and instantaneously I felt a light tap on my back. Spinning around, I saw that the one who

tapped was none other than Ted Tonks.

"Um...d'you want to go now?"

Ba-bum, ba-bum. "Okay."

He took my hand and we walked between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables. I felt so confident standing next to him. There was something about his features and my features that squared off each other nicely. I had the in-between light brown hair and he had dark blond hair. He had the chocolatey brown eyes and I had the dark emerald eyes. We were definitely a comely pair.

"Well," he said, beginning to look curiously at his feet. My feet began to look pretty good too. "I was thinking that we could just saunter about the campus and talk and things like that. Does that sound decent to you?"

"It sounds good. I like sauntering," I said. The vein in my neck throbbed. Bad news: I was going to die of a heart attack. Good news: I most definitely had a pulse. My throat began to tighten, like it did at Cissa's party. Except I _knew_ Ted. _I am really hoping I don't make an idiot of myself tonight._

Which I was most definitely going to.

Ted looked at me with what looked like a look of favour. Yes! I, Andromeda Black, had the favour of Ted Tonks. Although, that could have been pity. Pity for my idiocy. Great. Now I had the pity of Ted Tonks. Or the favour. Most likely the pity.

"So, you're...a Black? What's that like?"

"Utter hell. My mother's hell-bent on my sisters and I marrying into pureblood families -" I shouldn't have said that. Now he's going to think that I'm never going to be able to see him. Or maybe it was good. Maybe it meant that he wouldn't have the chance to lead me on. Why was this so confusing? "- and...we had a nice winter home in Madrid...until...my older sister Bellatrix blew it up." This wasn't so hard. I was actually conversing with Ted.

"She...blew it up?"

"Oh, Bella's always had a knack for the Dark Arts and destructive things like that. That's, in part, why she's a Death Eater."

"A what?"

I hated explaining this to everyone. No one knew what a Death Eater was, but soon enough, I had a bad feeling that the wizarding world would be swarmed and ruined by them. "A Death Eater is a follower of the new Dark wizard Lord Voldemort."

"Guess I need to pay more attention to current events in History of Magic, eh?" Ted joked. There was that grin again. It made me come all undone again.

"I guess so," I said, smiling like a fool (i.e., like myself).

We came to the entrance to our Common Room. He whispered the password ("Ne Atracne"), and gently helped me step into the Common Room. "Watch your step," he said, protectively. He then walked me to the foot of the staircase leading to the seventh-year girls' dormitory. "Now I don't want to anger the spirits of the founders of Hogwarts, so I'll leave you here. I had a...marvellous time and I think we should hang out together more often." I felt a light kiss on my cheek and then my love was gone.

Josie entered the Common Room soon after and smirked. "Did you have a good date, Rom?"

"He loves me," I said, still reeling from the kiss he gave me.

"I'll take that as a yes," Josie pat me on the back and led some of her other friends in the Common Room.


	3. A Close Encounter of the Lady Lily Kind

**A/N: Ooh, two reviews! That's a first, heh. I'd also like to apologize in advance for my treatment of Lily Evans in this chapter...I _do _like her, honestly, I do! She doesn't stay bipolar - oh, just read the chap.! **

Chapter 3: A Close Encounter of the Lady Lily Kind

The first day of class was decent. Professor Binns rambled about some old house-elf welfare organization that was toppled by Gwendolyn Black, who believed that house-elves' rights were secondary to those of wizards. I felt myself slink back in my desk. I find that my ancestors are often mentioned in History of Magic, often doing dastardly deeds to further hinder the wizarding world.

Oh, goodie. I'm descended from a bunch of heartless fiends.

I wish Professor Binns would hurry up and die. Everyone in the entire school knows he's going to die sooner than later, seeing as he's about a million years old. No, a million and two. Or a million and four. Around that age.

"And now for some current events," Professor Binns remarked. Everyone sat there in their lethargic stupor only History of Magic could induce. I don't think I ever saw anyone blink in that class. I happened to _enjoy_ current events. You know, besides the fact that even more of my relatives are mentioned there.

" 'According to some witnesses, a fanatic cult called the Death Eaters murdered an innocent witch. On Saturday, Meadow Abbott's family and friends bid their dear friend goodbye. Miss Abbott, aged 27, was a Healer at St. Mungo's, and will be sorely missed at home and at work. The Death Eaters are a cult of followers of a Lord Voldemort, who promises to rid the world of Muggles and Muggle-born. 'I knew there was something wrong with her when I saw that hideous sign above her flat,' Brunhilde Abbott, Meadow's mother, aged 56, told us. The sign was described to us as a skull with a snake crawling out of the mouth. The Ministry would like to remind you that if you suspect that an illicit Death Eater activity has occurred at your house to kindly come to their London office and report the aforementioned activity'," Professor Binns read from the _Daily Prophet_. My peers reacted in the most blasé way, but my heart sank. My sister and her nice friends I met in the back closet just two days had slaughtered an innocent woman, whose only fault was that her blood wasn't as pure as they would have liked.

And all this issue got was a brief mention on the sixth page in the front section of the _Daily Prophet_? _Just wait until they start murdering Ministry officials. They'll be flipping out then_.

------------------------------

As I left the History of Magic classroom to go to Transfiguration with McGonagall, Ted hollered at me, "Andy, Andy! Wait for me!"

Obediently, I tapped my foot as hundreds of students passed me by. Ted finally caught up with me and said, "Well, I listened to current events today."

"Isn't it awful?"

"Seems like you're related to a bunch of people devoid of feelings," Ted said, looking at the stone floor. "Do your parents know that your sister's going around killing people for fun?"

"Oh, they think it's great. Sweet little Bella's purifying the race of wizards, bettering the world in the name of purebloods."

"No wonder it's hell at your house."

"Yeah, in between the whole being shoved at boring blokes by my skeletal mum

and having an evil sister, life's no picnic."

We just stood there, and I was just waiting for something to happen, when something did happen.

The Marauders, that is.

"'Ello, dear cousin o' mine!" my cousin Sirius Black said, patting me on the back. I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. Sirius is quite a character. _Everyone_ at the school knows who he is, and not only because he's the first Black _ever_ to go to Gryffindor. No, it was more for his dashing Black good looks (how did I get skipped over?). "How's life treating you nowadays?"

"Decent."

"Decent? That's all? What about your boyfriend?" Sirius asked. His three little friends were standing behind him, waiting for him to get done talking to his swotty cousin, most likely.

"_He's not my boyfriend_," I said, gritting my teeth and grabbing the lapels of Sirius's shirt. "Go play Quidditch or ask that poor Lily Evans girl out for the little bat again."

Sirius's dark eyes grew wide. He pointed his index finger at me and shook it at me. "You...you know too much, Black!"

"Aw, shut up," I said, sick to death of my dear but somewhat mentally challenged cousin.

---------------------------------

"Miss Black, are you even caring to take any notes?" Professor Slughorn asked me. Of course not.

"Yes, yes, I am," I said, deciding to use what Josie and I called the "bluff" method. I dug around for a piece of looseleaf paper (I highly preferred it over the parchment I had to write reports on) and held it up to my eyes. "Ah, yes, for an Invisibility Potion, insert eight newt's toes into the cauldron..."

"Very well," the old greaseball muttered, getting out of my face. Slughorn didn't especially care for me, due to my apathy about Potions. He had approached me for the Slug Club since I was a Black and all, but later my performance changed his mind. He went on ranting and raving about potions. Who cared about potions? They took too long to make, and plus for most potions, there was a charm that took half the time it takes to get all the ingredients and boil them to a simmer.

By the time class was over, my skin was calling out to the sun. So my limbs dashed outside to the warm, warm sun. It was a mini-jubilee, until a very angry redhead walked over to me, fists clenched.

"Andromeda Black! I don't believe you!"

Oh my. I wasn't expecting a fireball attack on this fine afternoon. Fireball's face was deep red and her eyes were a light green, absolutely livid with something I did, apparently. Which I found a tiny bit hard seeing as I didn't even know her.

"Er, who are you?"

"Oh, you know who I am!" she roared.

"Um...no?"

"'Go ask that Lily Evans girl out for the little bat'," she quoted me. _Oh_, she was...Lily Evans. _I'm in deep shit now. _"Do you know how many times I've told James Potter no? I'll tell you: I've told him no practically my whole life!"

Why was I being blamed for a prat twelve-year-old boy's persistence? Lily put her left hand to her forehead and swept her red mane back and let it sit there.

She took some breaths and basically just stood there. "Oh, Christ, I am _so_ sorry.

You think I'm a bitch, right?" More along the lines of fireball.

"I swear, I'm not usually so histrionic, it's just that...well, it's pretty much impossible to pass Slughorn's class and I've been working my arse off trying to pass and it's only the first damn day!" Lily sighed.

I felt a feminine bond between Lily and I. I don't know if it was the fact that we were both overachieving, green-eyed drama queens or if it was the fact that we were both forced to deal with Sirius or what. "Ah, don't worry. By the seventh year, your will to fight dies. Even my mum, who's way big on grades, is getting over the fact that I constantly do poorly in Potions."

I thought more. Damn, I needed that good grade for my N.E.W.T.s. What was I supposed to tell the people at St. Mungo's? "Oh, yes, I am good at everything except Potions, especially of the healing variety, may I please fill out an application?"

"But what about the O.W.L.s? If I do poorly on the O.W.L.s, what am I supposed to do with my career? I'm going to be a virtual failure and no one will ever want to be around me and...my God! I have to go! Bye, Andromeda!" Lily waved.

I blinked. "A wee high-maintenance, there, Lily!" I yelled after her. But she was probably too locked up in her own little "knowledge-is-power!" world.

"I see you had a close encounter of the Lady Lily kind," Sirius said, stretching out his vowels obnoxiously. He started to take long steps around me, making me feel very much like a guppy being circled by a shark.

"No kidding. She's a bit mental, I must say," I said.

"Yes. That must be what Jamesie's looking for in a girl, though," Sirius rest his elbow on my shoulder.

"Siri," I said, smiling sweetly.

"Yes, dear cousin o' mine?"

"Get lost."


	4. Perfect Bellatrix

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! Please keep reviewing...and forgive me if this is a shorter, not-so-funny chapter...I've got to have SOME plot development.**

Chapter 4: Perfect Bellatrix

I told Josie about the whole Lady Lily encounter. She shook her head in fear of what I had been through. "Swot," she said. "You come across them once in awhile."

"She's not a swotty swot, though. By that I mean that she's not a pure swot. I think she was bred as one. Like the studying and proving herself as a Muggle-born witch kind of affected her brains. I could see her becoming like me, somehow."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that, Rom," Josie pat me on the back. She looked into the fire, swirling about in the fireplace. Harmonia O'Toole was lying on the hearth bit in front of the fire, staring at the ceiling. Josie was slouched over in an armchair and I was lying on the sofa. The other two Ravenclaw seventh-year girls, Scarlett Monsworth and Hannah Lovegood, were off, snogging their burly Quidditch player boyfriends, most likely. A lazy, hazy day for the study freaks of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"I'm sure I can get through to Lady Lily."

"Right."

Harmonia looked over at us, a silhouette in the fire. "You can't change someone who doesn't want to change," she said, blinking her dreamy blue eyes.

"Exactly! Which is why you should leave the swot alone!" Josie said to me. I clenched my teeth. Yes, the one time the Dreamer speaks, it's to my disadvantage. A classic Andromeda Black moment. Harmonia, Josie, and I sat and laid there in an awkward silence.

"I have a question, though, Jos."

"What, Andromeda?" Josie said, getting aggravated with me. What? Curious minds want to know.

"If Lady Lily is such a swot, Josephine, why is she in Gryffindor?"

"I don't know, Rom, ask the Sorting Hat or something," Josie yawned. She stretched out her slender figure and looked at her wristwatch. "I'm going to bed."

"Go right ahead. But I will find out the Enigma of Lady Lily of Gryffindor. And you, nor anyone else, can stop me."

"Good Lord, Rom, you need your head checked," Josie said, before she walked up to the dormitory, most likely questioning why she even decided to be my friend in the first place.

--------------------------------------------

Ted and I walked to the library together one crisp morning in October. I had slowly begun to learn how to speak English in front of Ted. And every time I said a word in front of Ted, it was like a small victory. A triumph. Score one for Black!

I had learned so much about Ted as well. He was the only child of Tom and Judy Tonks. Tom was a plumber and Judy was a typical housewife, always making sure he was wearing clean underpants and cleaned behind his ears. Lucky. He got housewife-with-a-capital-H for a mum and I got a skeleton. There is no justice in the world.

In the library, we were looking through our textbooks, trying to find out how to transform a pillow into a toad (the closest we got was Ted turning it into a llama). Ted and I were laughing over the library incident. Ted said that we should turn it back into a pillow and I said we should keep it for a Ravenclaw mascot and name it Harry. We voted for my suggestion only if we could get it so Madam Pince didn't realize that there was a llama in her precious library.

An amber-eyed boy who had been ogling me finally got the nerve to come over and asked, "Why is there a llama in the library?"

Simultaneously, Ted and I screamed, "Shh!" at the boy. Madam Pince looked our way, but luckily we had managed Harry under our table. Her hawk eyes looked about and then over towards her card catalogue instead.

"Whew," I said, wiping my brow.

The amber-eyed boy looked at Ted and I. "Do I know you?" he said, pointing at me.

"Unless you know Andromeda Black, I don't believe so."

"You're Sirius's cousin, aren't you? The one who got attacked by Lily? I'm one of Sirius's friends." Well, that's nice, but who the hell are you?

"Ah. He has many of those. Friends, that is."

"My name's Remus Lupin. I'm one of the Marauders. You may have heard of us," he said with a lupine grin.

"You're a Marauder? But you look way older than Siri," I said him incredulously.

"It comes with a...condition I have," Remus simply said, and then he just looked at me.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, trying to send Ted telepathy, which wasn't working, seeing as none of us were telepathic. Please save me from Remus, I repeat, save me!

"Why don't you call Lily Lady Lily like all of the Marauders do, apparently?" Ted asked Remus. Whoa, maybe he heard me!

"Lils and I are friends."

"You're a swot?" I asked, as I stood up and slammed my chair in.

"Not...exactly. I'd like to be prefect, but I'm not psychotic about it, like Lils can be."

"Oh my God, you're a swot!" I exclaimed. Madam Pince looked at me sternly.

"No, I'm not a swot," Remus said, pointedly. I sat back down, my knees on both sides of Harry's nose. "I've been friends with Lily since before she was a swot. You may not know this, but so was Sirius."

"But Aunt Denebola would kick his arse from here to Proxima Centauri if she knew he knew a Muggle-born girl!"

"He ran away as he made visits to the Malfoy residence, because he met Carina there," Remus said, obviously thinking of better times.

"Carina? Who's Carina? Is Carina anyone that I, as Sirius's favourite cousin, should know about?" I asked Remus. He leaned back, his face deep pale.

"Merlin's beard, was Carina his lover? Answer me, Remus!"

"Little bugger bit my crotch," he said, barely able to get the words out of his mouth. Ted had a half-grin on his face, bemused at the fate that befallen our new companion. I cupped my hand and put it over my smirk.

"Oh, well, um, Madam Pomfrey might have a cream for that," I said. I couldn't get the words out. It was just too funny picturing Madam Pomfrey having a cream for Remus's...oh, I was having too much fun with that.

"Right. Well, goodbye, Andromeda," Remus said.

"Bye, Remus."

As Remus walked out of the library, hobbled over, Ted looked at me. "Was he checking you out?"

"I hope not...," I said hopefully. Ted's face was contorted hilariously, and I couldn't resist myself. "You know, you're just jealous that someone other than you finds me attractive," I covered my mouth. Oh, my big mouth...my big mouth. But Ted didn't act like this affected him at all.

"Maybe I am," he said, leaning in close to my face as he got up from his seat. He looked under the table to Harry. "D'you have a lead to put Harry on?"

"It's going to look a bit odd walking a llama around on a lead. He's not exactly a terrier, if you know what I mean."

Ted laughed, and I didn't know why. That's what I told myself more and more as Ted and I became closer. I didn't know why his smirk made my stomach do a floor routine. I didn't know why he loved to run his thick fingers through my middley brown hair. I didn't know why I loved him.

I didn't know why he wasted his time with me, anyway.

-----------------------------------------

"Fabian Prewett and I are an item!" Josie announced as I walked into the dormitory. Yes, and right in my face.

"That's nice. A bit sudden and unexpected, but nice. I have a llama I named Harry," I said, pulling on the skin on Harry's neck so we walked into the dormitory.

"That's nice too. A bit smelly and hairy, but nice."

"Aw, but Harry has a good heart. Especially since he used to be a pillow," I nodded. Josie grinned.

"I'm beginning to think that you and Ted shouldn't be left alone together if that'swhat you come up with," Josie said.

----------------------------

In the middle of the night before Hallowe'en, there was a large pounding noise on the door to the girls' dormitory. Josie could sleep through Guy Fawkes Day, but I was not as sound a sleeper. I opened my long-lashed eyes and walked to the door, jimjams and all.

It was my dear sister Cissa.

"Cissa, how the hell did you get up here?"

"The password's 'Ne Atracne', isn't it?" Cissa said to me.

"Well, yeah, but how'd you figure that out?" Cissa had more brains than I gave her credit for. Amazing.

"Don't question my abilities. I got a letter from Bella."

My jaw dropped. Okay, maybe Cissa was as smart as I thought she was. "And that's why you woke me up."

"She sounds pretty upset with Mum."

"Oh, why should she be? Bella's beautiful and purifies the race of wizards! She's a true lady and can kill a bunch of Muggle-borns! What's the matter with Bella?"

Cissa bit her bottom lip. Damn her, she knew Bella better than she knew me, her good sister. "Er...have you known Bella to be the type to spend all day thinking about blokes?"

"That's her problem?" I said, disbelieving. "Mum wants her to marry and she doesn't want to? What shit."

"Andy," Cissa said, "Bella's not perfect."

"Oh, I am so sure," I said, bitingly. "And it's Andromeda."

"Josie calls you Rom."

"What do you do, just follow me?"

"I'm attentive."

I looked away, not bearing to look at Cissa's beautiful face, her blue eyes downcast. "Josie's just...Josie. She's pretty much set in stone."

"You're different around her...and Theodore," Cissa said, her beautiful falsetto at a near drawl. "Who are you, Andy?"

"Not the precious little Bella! And it's Andromeda!" I yelled. It began to get windy in the dormitory, inside. Suddenly, a new thought was born inside me and it slowly turned into assurance. This was not my Cissy at all. This was some supreme being disguised as my sister.

"Bella isn't perfect! I have one chance to make you see that, Andromeda!" This was most definitely was not my sister, because she had finally called me Andromeda.

Suddenly, in a flash of light, Cissa, or whoever was parading around as Cissa,was gone. I was left alone with my jimjams and my dressing gown. "Oh, my Lord, I have got to get more sleep, I'm going nutters," I told myself. I slipped into my four-poster and gently fell into slumber...

Andromeda found herself in Proxima Centauri, the stately home of Castor Black and his gorgeous wife, Capella Stentley. Andromeda ran through the halls, trying to find her mother. It was a childish instinct, to run to mother when you were scared.

"Mum, you're not being reasonable! I'm getting on just fine without marrying well! Dad, you think so, I know it!" A deep, husky voice in desperation came out of a room, known as the Reception Room. Andromeda peeked in. It was her older sister, Bellatrix, and her parents.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but--"

"Cut me out of the fucking will! Like I care!" Bella screamed. She paused to catch her breath and said, hauntingly, "The Dark Lord will take care of me."

"Vulgarity is not for this household," Capella said, matter-of-factly, ignoring the last bit. "Listen, pet--"

"I am not going to be anyone's pet!"

"Lyra Bellatrix," Capella said, sternly. "Your grandfather--may flowers bloom upon his grave--told me when I was a little girl that women are owned throughout their lives. During their childhood and adolescence, they are owned by their father, in their middle ages, their husband owns them, and as their earthly bodies deteriorate, they're owned by their son."

"I'm not going to be owned by anyone, thank you!"

"You are going to marry Rodolphus Lestrange, young lady!" Capella said. "And that is my word on it."

"Dad, I know you protest," Bellatrix's dark eyes looked pleadingly upon her father. "Please, tell her no."

Castor began to open his mouth, but Capella put her spindly hand over it. "Nothing your father has to say will interest you."

"You bitch! He was going to stop you!"

Andromeda gasped. Even Bella couldn't escape the wrath of Capella Stentley.

Bella gazed around the room, so angry she couldn't do much but clench her teeth and scowl. It seemed, though, that only Andromeda could measure the magnitude of how furious she was. "You know, woman," Bella said, pointing at Capella. "You're a lot more evil then we give you credit for."


	5. The Ravenclaw Girls Celebrate Guy Fawkes

Chapter 5: The Ravenclaw Girls Celebrate Guy Fawkes Day

I looked over the sea of Ravenclaw girls in absolute terror. How was I going to put up with all of these _girls_?

To be fair, I didn't _have _to put up with all of the Ravenclaw girls, but it was tradition. And at Hogwarts, the word "tradition" means "you will be tarred and feathered by the legions of young girls anticipating the event if you should decide to not do it this year."

Yes, it was the infamous Ravenclaw Guy Fawkes Day Party, held annually in Josie Berkhardt and Andromeda Black's dormitory. It started innocently enough, just Josie and I messing around with some firecrackers in first year, and it had turned into a monster.

"Calm down," I said, trying to be the picture of calmness myself.

Nothing.

"Calm down..." I was getting a little antsy.

Nothing still.

"ALRIGHT YOU GUYS NEED TO SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!" I yelled.

The room fell to silence. Why is it that adults are always telling you that you don't have to yell when the only way to get the results you want is to yell?

"Okay. As you might already know, I'm Andromeda Black." I gestured to Josie. "And this is Josephine Berkhardt."

"Or Josie Berkhardt," she said, glaring at me. Oops, had I "accidentally" let her real name slip?

"Right. Um, well," I started. Trusty old stage fright kicking in. Just what I wanted right now, especially with the strong beginning I'd had.

Luckily for me, Josie's the best friend on the planet, so she stepped in without blinking an eye. "This is Rom's and my last Guy Fawkes Day here at Hogwarts, so let's make this the best one! Alright?"

An appreciative cheer fell over the small army of girls. Josie started a small fire in the middle, and we all gathered around it. Groups of girls were forming, and they started to talk amongst themselves. I could see Scarlett and Hannah gossiping about boys, and Harmonia...doing whatever Harmonia does. After about fifteen minutes of this, Josie handed me a lit firecracker.

"Won't this be fun?" Josie grinned.

I grabbed it from Josie and tossed it as far as my arm could, which was very far indeed, if I do say so myself.

Josie turned around, aghast. "Bloody hell, Rom! Were you Cy Young in a past life or something? _Sheesh!_"

Despite its distance from us, it still did go off. And it was _loud_. Josie and I giggled madly so everyone knew that it was us behind it.

Soon after that we heard a knock on the commons door. Oh, no. We'd been found out. "Quick; douse the fire!" I told some second-year I faintly remembered from last year.

When Josie and I answered the door, we were the absolute picture of innocence. Matching blue dressing gowns, plaid flannel pyjama bottoms, and huge grins.

It was the Fireball.

"Um…Lady Lily. Well. How are you doing this lovely evening?" I said, trying to butter the snitch up. "It's Guy Fawkes Day, you know - "

"I'm not a _complete_ prat; I know it's Guy Fawkes Day," Lady Lily snapped back.

"Anyway," Josie joined in. I would always thank Jesus or Merlin or Buddha or _whoever_ that Josie sat by me on the train and not some complete beast, like Scarlett Monsworth or Hannah Lovegood. "What is a second-year like yourself doing strolling around the halls at night, which is _clearly_ against the rules?"

"Well…er…" Lady Lily condescended to compromising with us mere mortals. "Listen: you don't tell anyone I was lurking about the halls, and I don't tell anyone you're lighting things on fire."

I looked thoughtfully to Josie. Were we really negotiating with a bipolar twelve-year-old? Was this my _life_? "Okay, come on in and join the festivities," I said, opening the door wider for her.

"Yes, if you _must_ be up this late, you might as well have fun doing it," Josie ushered her in.

"Everybody," I announced, "this is -"

"Lily Evans," finished the crowd of Ravenclaw girls.

I smirked and looked sideways at Lady Lily. "You're quite popular here, Fireball."

Lady Lily's expression mirrored my own. "What can I say? Trouble follows me wherever I go."

"Which explains Potter."

Lady Lily could only smile back at me.

----------------------------------------

Soon all the girls had gone back to their dormitories, which left only Lady ily, Josie, and me. The late night does amazing things to people. For me, it makes me long for glazed doughnuts. And not just in a casual "Hm, I'd sure like some glazed doughnuts" way, but in a life-or-death-Mission-Impossible way. But the light night air relaxed Lady Lily in a way that neither Josie nor I could have imagined.

She explained how carefully Sirius had staged his route to Magnolia Court, making sure to avoid his mum (who is almost as bad as my mum). Magnolia Court turned out to be the residence of two sweet Muggle girls, Lily Evans and Carina Kendall, and one _peculiar_ boy they never really talked to, Remus Lupin.

Stories of Magnolia Court inevitably led to the hurt she felt when Sirius and Remus abandoned her for James Potter. Loneliness? I hadn't anticipated _that_ part of the story. Oh, dear, the Fireball was pulling on my heartstrings a little too much.

"And then the girls in my house are awful. Especially these _two_, Vesta Casanova and Felicity Singleton. They're both these pureblood princesses who think they're _so _much better than me, a mere Muggle-born." Ah, that explained the Lady Lily demeanor. Who knew she had such depth?

"And…and Sirius has _changed_! The old Sirius would _never_ have teased poor Severus -"

"Poor who?" I asked. Sirius had never mentioned a Severus.

"Severus. Severus Snape, he's this poor second-year Slytherin James and Sirius just _love _to harass."

Snape. My stomach fell straight to my feet while my mind traveled back to a time when I was five…

"Castor, come and look at this!" a very pregnant Capella Stentley beckoned her husband over toward the grand bay window at the front of Proxima Centauri. As if she had been called as well, Andromeda Black, age five, toddled towards her parents and tried to see what they were looking at.

"Look at Eileen Prince - Snape - whatever she is now. Her and that filthy," Capella struggled with the next word, "Muggle, showing off their equally filthy spawn, like it's something to be proud of. You know what, Castor? That…Snape _child is nothing but a shit-eating waste of sperm, and that's all he'll ever be, mark my words…" _

Shit-eating waste of sperm. The phrase was still imprinted upon my memory even twelve years later. And now Sirius was giving him a hard time. Glad to see he's carrying on the family tradition.

Snape The phrase was still imprinted upon my memory even twelve years later. And now Sirius was giving him a hard time. Glad to see he's carrying on the family tradition. 

"He _was _with your sister's crowd, but since she graduated last May, he's been kind of vulnerable." Lady Lily stood up. "I really didn't mean to stay so long here, and I most certainly didn't mean to tell you my life story."

"Oh, anytime," Josie said.

Before she left, Lady Lily said, "You know, I like the way I feel around you two."

"Well, then," I responded, "you must visit often."

"Will do!" exclaimed Lily, excitedly.

And at that moment, Lady Lily died forever and Lily Evans was born.

**A/N: Yes, I know it's short, but believe me, I have a novel of a chapter coming at you next time. Please, if you are reading this story, leave me a review! Thanks so much!**


	6. A Winter of Lurve

**Disclaimer: I just realized that I haven't posted a disclaimer! And all the legal type people probably think I'm some deluded fan who claims to actually OWN Andromeda Black, Cissa Black, Bella Black, Sirius Black, Ted Tonks, and the whole lot. WELL, I DON'T. JKR DOES. So take THAT, legal type people!**

**Also, I do not own the song quoted at the end of the chapter. It is from "Your Song" by Elton John, and amazingly enough, "Your Song" is not your song, nor my song, it's Elton John's song. So there.**

Chapter 6: A Winter of Lurve

Over the next few weeks, I'd often think to myself, _Damn, Lily is lucky I am not the kind of seventh-year who refuses to be seen with a second-year._

It was almost guaranteed that Hannah and Scarlett were teasing Jos and I. Really, they were doing everything but saying it to our faces. They'd see us walking with Lily and immediately begin whispering.

Once Josie got fed up with it and yelled after them, "Not enough money to spring for the neon sign?"

Lily looked up at Josie with a plain look of adoration on her face. "_Wow_…I wish I knew good lines like that," she said wistfully.

"Hey," Josie said under her breath. "Try this one: you ignorant, bullying toerags!"

Lily screamed like a banshee after them. "YOU IGNORANT, BULLYING TOERAGS!" She grinned at Josie and me. "Ooh, I think I like that one…"

-------------------------------------------------

The weeks leading up to December grew colder, but by the way the students were acting, you'd think it was the beginning of spring. Everyone was "going with" someone, except for me and a few other rejects of lurve. Although some clever "gossip maven" liked to make up some new rumour about Ted Tonks and me. Which, I regret to say, were never true.

Josie-and-Fabian, those well-known Siamese twins, quickly replaced Josie as my best friend. They were very considerate about my lack of coupleness and waited until I wasn't around to snog, which I was more grateful for than they knew. Yes, I quickly became the ultimate third wheel to the ultimate couple.

But one pesky second-year was determined to change that. Remus was incessantly knocking on the Ravenclaw Common Room door and yelling over the pounding: "Er, Andromeda? D'you think we could, er, meet at the library tonight? I'd really appreciate it. Could you send, er, Lily with your answer?"

By the time he was done, Hannah and Scarlett were full-out roaring with laughter. No tact, those two. They needed a few years with Capella Stentley; that'd whack them into shape.

"Not only are you best friends with second-years, but now you're going with one!" Hannah "joked," while Scarlett just guffawed that much louder.

Luckily, Fabian came to my rescue. "You know what you two are? Easy _toerags_! You hear me? _Easy toerags!_" Fabian led me out of the Common Room, murmuring, "One of them is going to be pregnant before graduation, mark my words, you just mark my words…"

"Thanks for that, Fabian," I said gratefully.

"Oh, no problem. Can't leave my girlfriend's best pal defenseless like that."

I could hearsome _very_ loud whispers on each side of the corridor:

"Andromeda Black and Fabian Prewett? No!_" _

"Whatever happened to Ted Tonks?"

"Oh, what will Josie Berkhardt think?"

No! 

When Fabian and I reached Josie in the library, Josie said, "Do you know how many first-year rats have told me you two are together?"

"I can only imagine, Jos," I muttered, too embarrassed to really do anything.

"Sorry, Josie, I just couldn't resist Andromeda." Fabian winked and nudged me. Reluctantly, I gave a smile while Josie rolled her eyes.

"Oh, like I believed it for a second, you two."

"Honestly, Jos, I wish they'd realize that in order to maintain peace with you, I have to be friends with your boyfriend. Those little gossips…it's all out of hand! I can't even give Sirius a clandestine little high-five anymore without some wild rumour of 'Black incest' floating about the next day."

Fabian looked at me incredulously. "Are people actually saying that?"

Josie gave Fabian a "look" and said, "You have no idea about the life she leads." She focused her evil "look" upon me. Uh-oh…nowhere to go now. "Rom, you _do_ know the only way to end all those ridiculous incestuous rumours."

"No, and amazingly enough, I don't especially care to know."

"If you'll just ask Ted to Hogsmeade one of these days, you won't even care about the rumours, because, trust me, they're much less annoying when they're true," Josie said, squeezing Fabian's hand and looking altogether disgustingly cute.

"The rumours about you two are true?" I asked.

"Yes," Josie replied smartly.

"Even the one about Molly sending you a Howler saying if you hurt her brother, she'll hex you into next week?"

Josie shuddered. "Especially that one." She recovered quickly however. "Anyhow, I am sending you on a mission."

"Oh, no…"

"Oh, yes." Josie smirked not-so-innocently. "Get Ted Tonks to be your boyfriend before Hogwarts lets out for the winter."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I want to see you and Ted Tonks dating. Think of it; you'll be able to walk around with Fabe and not be accused of being a scarlet woman."

"You know Cissa will just tell Mum that I'm dating a Mudblood over Christmas, and then you might as well pick out my gravestone," I informed Josie and Fabian.

"My brother Gideon and I will make sure that Cissa knows nothing of the whole deal. Don't worry, Andromeda, you'll survive." Fabian took both my hands and kneeled. "I swear, my pureblood liege."

I pushed on Fabian's back. "Get up, you bastard."

----------------------------------------------

Lily came up to me in the Great Hall during lunch. "Rom, Rom…I need help. A great deal of it."

I rolled my eyes. Knowing my dear Lily, it was probably something silly like Felicity had stolen her eyelash curler for the umpteenth time or something of that sort. Twelve-year-old girls were _remarkably _predictable.

Once we were away from the burning stares of the likes of Scarlett Monsworth and Hannah Lovegood, Lily whispered, "I think I have the stomach lurgy."

"A lurgy?" Good grief, what was I? Nurse Andromeda? "When does it come up the most?"

"I'm not telling," said Lily stubbornly.

I looked at her blankly. "You have got to be joking me. You pull me away from my house, and you're not telling me when this lurgy comes up?"

"You'll think I'm silly."

"Well, of _course_ you're going to be silly. You're twelve. Twelve is not an age where you're deathly serious."

"When you put it that way…," began Lily. "Oh, all right. It comes up whenever Remus Lupin comes around." Upon seeing the grin on my face, she screeched, "I told you you'd think I was silly!"

My twelve-year-old stalkers together in peace. Hm…a nice thought. Suddenly the mission from Josie was put on the backburner.

"Oh, Lily, the only lurgy you have is the lurve lurgy!"

------------------------------------------------------

I told Josie about Lily fancying Remus. She was overjoyed, as I anticipated.

"Rom…what does that have to do with anything?" Josie asked annoyed as we walked back to our Common Room for a free period.

"I don't know; I just thought it was ridiculously adorable. And maybe if Remus goes out with Lily -"

"Oh, hell, Rom, they're twelve. Where are they going to _go_?"

"I have no clue, but apparently dating is an epidemic that is sweeping the second-years."

"But do boys even _like_ girls when they're twelve?"

"I have no idea, Jos. That's the mystery of the whole ordeal."

"So how are you and Ted coming along?" Josie asked rather loudly. Oh, bloody hell, what if someone heard? What if Timothy Lovegood heard and told Ted, and Ted told Timothy to tell me that he was flattered, but not interested? _Aghhh!_

But no, unfortunately, it was far worse.

Because _Cissa _heard.

"Who's this Ted?" she asked sweetly. _Note to self: KILL FABIAN AND GIDEON_.

"Er…," I stammered intelligently. _Oh, please, Josie, don't say anything, _please 

"Oh, I know, Ted Bigsby!" Cissa exclaimed, obviously proud of herself. Ted Bigsby? Who the bloody hell was _that_? "But he mustn't hear you call him Ted; he's trying to become more grown-up and going by Frederick."

"…Why was he called Ted in the first place?" Josie asked.

Cissa shrugged. "I don't know, family name? Anyway, I have a class with Flitwick coming up, so I'll see you ladies later!" she called as she dashed off.

"Oh, dear _Lord_, she is high-octane." Josie shook her head. Suddenly, she spotted a folded piece of paper. "Hey, Rom, what's that?"

I looked closer at it. Written on it was "Cissy." "Looks like something of Cissa's."

"Shall we?" Josie asked, looking terribly evil.

Part of me realized that it was probably something private of my little sisters and that I had no business looking through it.

But then I also realized it was probably from Lucius, and that was too good an opportunity to pass up.

"Oh, yes, we shall!'

As we continued to walk, we, the multitask, read:

Dearest Cissy, ("Oh, yes," I said, "it's from Lucius.")

Hello, my love. You're right; it has been too long since we've seen each other. But I think that our family is talking of spending Christmas at Proxima Centauri, so hopefully I can see your lovely flaxen hair once more. ("He could just look in the mirror," commented Josie.)

Please write back; I so look forward to your letters, darling Cissy.

Love forever,

Luci

We collapsed upon the sofas in the Common Room and died laughing. The winter of lurve had struck again!

-----------------------------------------------

Finally, after years of midterm testing, school was over for the winter, thank _God_. If I had to put up with stupid, choosy Slughorn for one more day, there would be some "favorite"-killing.

There was one free period between Proxima Centauri and me, which, despite the schoolings of school, wasn't exactly thrilling me. Josie asked me the million-Galleon question: "So, you and Ted Tonks?"

Oh, _hell_. Ted bloody Tonks again. "Jos, you're not honestly making me."

"Yes, I am! Oh, what impeccable timing because here he comes!" Josie shoved me at Ted, who was walking perpendicular to Josie and me.

Ted looked down at me, because I was considerably shorter than him, and smiled in such away that I fell in love with him all over again.

"Well, hello, Andy," he said, obviously amused.

"Er…hello, Ted." This was _so _uncomfortable. Oh, bugger it! Why'd I have to do this anyway?

"Hey, you want to go somewhere with me? I'd like to show you something," Ted said, dark eyes sparkling. _He was so beautiful_, I thought a little randomly. Ugh, I needed my head checked.

He offered me his arm and walked me outside. This was a little unnerving, seeing as I hadn't even worn my jacket. I was even more unnerved when he laid his own jacket across my shoulders. "I can take the cold; I'm a man," was his playful response.

Ted sat me down on a bench that overlooked the frozen lake. "Well," he said as he joined me, "this is it."

I turned to look at him. Snowflakes were nestling in both our hair. "What made you want to show me the lake at winter?"

"I honestly don't know. I was walking with Timothy a few days ago, and it just kind of came to me. It just…hit me, you know. 'You should take Andromeda here.' So I did." He had thought of me? Randomly? Off-the-cuff? Hm, this sounded quite familiar.

Right then, I lost my mind. My middley brown hair was covered with snow, I was mad with love, and _he had given me his bloody jacket!_ So I did the unthinkable.

"Ted, the last few months have been amazing, getting to know you. To be totally and completely honest, no one's ever been that nice to me. No one's ever treated me like I mattered, aside from _maybe _Cissa. And certainly no one's wanted to show me _anything_. You're something spectacular, Theodore Tonks."

"You're more spectacular, Andromeda Black," he simply said. And then he kissed me.

I thought I was going to die. The one I'd never get was snogging _me._ And suddenly, I was hit with a wave of sadness; I could never realistically have a typical relationship with him. No taking him home to meet Daddy.

When we broke, I whispered, "I love you, Ted."

He put his arm around me and said, "I love you too, Andy."

At that moment, a great Muggle song Josie sang once came to mind:

How wonderful life is while you're in the world…

And just like that, the winter of lurve became _my _winter of lurve.

**A/N: Thanks for putting up with that fluffy chapter...I just needed Ted and Andromeda together before the real action started...**

**intriKate: At 1AM, everything DOES amaze you...once I was looking about my room and I was like, "woah...my walls are light pink!" Thanks for the review!**

**FanFictionFantom: I reread over that chapter, and I realized that when I said that he hung around w/ Bella, I meant SNAPE, not Sirius. I realized that was a bit unclear, so I apologize for that. And Sirius is going to be prominently featured in the next chapter, so that should be something to look forward to.**

**GreenEyedMonster: Thanks so much for the review! It means a lot, even if it is just to say, "Very good!" Hell, I'll even take, "YOUR STORY IS A DISASTER!" but "Very good!" is good as well.**

**AND YOU...REVIEW. Please? I'll give you Sirius...and Remus!**

**S & R: squirming NOOOOO DON'T MAKE US GO!**


	7. A Fantasy Christmas Wedding

**A/N: OMG IT'S AN UPDATE! I got a little bit caught up with writing more of this(right now I'm writing the climax - so as you see, it's hard for me to put down the pen), so I forgot to update. So here's a somewhat long chapter for ya!**

Chapter 7: A Fantasy Christmas Wedding

Dear Ted,

Please don't mind if I write this esp. sloppy and w/ a lot of abb. b/c if anyone catches me writing you…NOT GOOD.

Surprisingly, Mum was there 2 pick Cissa & me up at Platform 9¾ . Usually, some slave's there saying, "Mrs. Stentley's 2 busy, blah blah blah…"

But Mum was full of hols cheer or something b/c she squeezed us both & gave us both a reason why she was v. v. proud 2 be our mum:

"Andromeda! Horace hasn't told me about any misbehavior! Thank you 4 finally settling down." (That's hols cheer w/ Capella Stentley.)

"And Narcissa! Desdemona Malfoy says tht. you and Lucius are regularly corresponding! Oh, & the Ms are so rich!" (like we're not).

"Come w/ me, girls, I have a surprise 4 you both at P.C."

So Cissa grabbed my arm (seeing as if she grabs Mum's arm, it'll snap off), and Mum & I Disapparated to P.C.

When we entered P.C., it had all sorts of decorations up, which is never _the case. Usually, 25 Dec. rolls around, and Cissa & I have to remind Mum it's X-mas. _

"Doesn't it remind you of a winter wonderland?" Mum alm. squealed.

never 

Cissa squealed right back, "Oh, yes_, Mum!" _

Then, out of nowhere, my cousins Siri & Reggie showed up. "Siri!" I yelled. "What're you 2 doing here?"

"Is Aunt D here?" Cissa asked eagerly. Cissa idolizes our Aunt D(enebola) for some strange reason.

"Yeah, both her and Dad are around here somewhere," Siri said nonchalantly (how would you abb. nonchalantly?)

yes

Then I saw Lucius come over and give Cissa a polite kiss (on the mouth!). Abraxas and Desdemona, his 'rents, followed close behind.

Slowly I realized just about every p.b. fam. was there…

& then Mum came back & made it 10x worse by saying, "Oh, yes, girls, Bellatrix is having a Christmas wedding!"

After this, Bella stormed out of the kitchen sobbing.

Personally, I feel sorriest for Rod L. - imagine, a girl crying b/c she had to marry you. Ouch

_So now Cissa, Bella, Diana Casanova, Kaida Malfoy, Renee Akers, Magnolia Parkinson, Angela Singleton, two of the Nott girls, and I are all in Bella's giant room. This is _hell. W/ paper snowflakes. 

_Hopefully, I'll survive this so I can be w/ you, Jos, & Fabe. I love you_

_Love, __Andy_

I grabbed someone's owl (Cissa's?) and quietly shoved it out Bella's window. This was awful, having to correspond with Ted, my boyfriend (!), like this. But he reassured me several times over that he understood why and that he understood my life - sort of.

Right after the owl was out the window, someone knocked on Bella's door. "Yes?"

"It's Bella," came Bella's husky voice.

"Come in."

Bella entered. Even though she was being taken over by Lord Voldemort, she still was bloody gorgeous. "Thanks, I needed to get away from Mum," she said distantly. Why'd she sound so far away?

"Oh, I'd imagine."

"We were discussing my wedding party. Apparently, Cissa, Kaida, Renee, and Margaret are my bridesmaids, and you're my maid of honour."

"_Me?_" I gulped. Didn't the maid of honour have to give a speech at the reception? I didn't like having to give speeches period, let alone in front of scores of pureblood snobs. And what was I supposed to say about Bella, Dark Lady of the Underworld? "Do I have to give a speech at the reception and all?"

"Knowing Mum, she'll probably be masochistic and say you'll have to." Bella snorted. "I'm having a bloody fantasy winter wonderland wedding. The last thing Mum cares about is what we think."

--------------------------------------------

One day, I was lying on Bella's bed, trying to avoid everyone, like usual, when a young, good-looking head popped in the doorway.

"Dearest cousin!" Sirius called. "Come, let's take a walk around, see if we can discover a couple of cupboards."

"Why don't you ever bother Cissa?" I asked as I stood up.

"She's not as fun as you," said Sirius, looking deathly solemn.

By now, I was right beside him. I rubbed his head and said, "C'mon, then."

Stealthily, we crept along (great goodness, what was with me and second-years lately?). We came upon some of the house-elves looking terrifically depressed. Sirius loves tormenting house-elves - God knows he does it enough with Kreacher - so we walked up to them.

"Ah, Mistress Andromeda and Master Sirius," said Tinky, one of the house-elves half-heartedly.

"What's wrong, Tinky?" I asked concernedly.

Tinky sighed. "Well, it's just…Mistress Capella has ordered wizard caterers, leaving Tinky and the rest with nothing to do."

Sirius seized an opportunity. "Nothing to do? You must be joking!"

"Tinky doesn't joke," responded Tinky. "Mistress Capella has no use for Tinky."

"Ah, but I do," Sirius told them.

Simultaneously, all of the house-elves' long, pointed ears perked up.

Sirius whispered the plan into Tinky's ears, who, in turn, whispered it to all the others.

"I don't know if Tinky can do such a thing to Mistress Capella; after all, Mistress Capella has always been so kind to Tinky."

"Mistress Capella won't mind a bit." Sirius waved it off.

"Well…if Master Sirius commands," Tinky said, and he led the rest of the house-elves away to work on Sirius's plan.

--------------------------------

On Christmas Eve, the night before Bella's wedding, I tried to be social. I tried conversing with those horrid Nott girls (but they just stared at me). I tried interceding on Lily's behalf with Felicity Singleton and Vesta Casanova (but they just insisted that she was a Mudblood). I even tried asking Lucius how his conditioner was working (but he just gave me an obscene hand gesture).

But there was a more pressing matter on my mind…

The speech.

I had asked Mum if I _really_ had to give a speech as Bella's maid of honor, and she just blew it off. _Like it was no big deal!_

"Well, of _course_, Andromeda. You and Rabastan both will be giving speeches. It's part of your duties in the office of maid of honor, and I don't want any silliness."

"But Mum -"

"_Mother_," Mum harshly corrected.

"_Mother_, I _hate_ speeches."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Andromeda, you're a simply engaging orator!"

"But Mother, I _hate_ it. Can't Stan -"

"_Rabastan_." Merlin, why was she so bloody proper? What was the matter with calling him Stan? I knew for a fact that Bella and Rod called him that.

"Can't _Rabastan_ give a speech? I mean, I'm sure one speech will be _enough_."

"Oh, Andromeda, our guests would love to hear some charming childhood anecdotes of Bellatrix's, and I hardly believe Rabastan was there for those."

"But -"

"So the issue is decided upon. You're giving a speech at Bellatrix's wedding reception, and that is that." _Evil skeleton strikes again_.

After Lucius flipped me the bird, I pretty much gave up on socializing and went up to Bella's bedroom. Qucikly, I found my sleeping bag, conveniently placed on top of Cissa's and squeezed by the wall. I needed to sleep it off. Maybe some inspiration might come to me in a dream…

Andromeda Black could hear a woman's lowered, husky voice. Yep, that was her sister, Bellatrix in the Gray Room.

Andromeda entered and sat in one of the many chairs set up. Once inside, she could see Bellatrix talking with Rodolphus Lestrange, her fiance, and his brother Rabastan; Antonin Dolohov; Augustus Rookwoord; Walden Macnair; Mulciber; Nott; Evan Rosier; and Igor Karkaroff. In fact, Andromeda could only think of one person missing…

"Honestly, she gets on my nerves so much!" exclaimed Lucius Malfoy, who had just barged in. Can't we just take care of her tonight?"

"No!_" Bellatrix snapped. Andromeda jumped in her seat. She hadn't realized how deep into darkness Bellatrix had gotten. But now it was clear that any hopes of redemption were gone. "We must do it as the Dark Lord wishes. He said this summer." _

"But she made a joke about my conditioner or some bollocks!"

As the rest of the Death Eaters made jokes about what a cheap shot that was (a lot like beating Rod at dueling, Bella even said), Andromeda felt her stomach hit the floor. And she thought she was going to have cardiac arrest telling Ted Tonks how she felt.

Her sister's cult was planning to kill her.

Andromeda just tried to breathe. One breath at a time…

"She defied the Dark Lord once, but I will personally make sure that she doesn't again," said Bella, a horrific look overcoming her eyes…

No! 

My eyes tore open. Holy hell, holy hell, holy hell. I had a strange feeling that this dream, like the Bellatrix dream, was real, even without the weird Cissa specter.

It tried to breathe as I realized more and more that if Bella had her way, I'd be dead in six months.

------------------------------------------------

After drinking a pint of coffee, I started to relax…somewhat. I still had no idea what I was going to say in my speech…or how I was going to evade the Death Eaters come June, for that matter. Still, I had to just take everything day by day.

And somehow think of something to say about Bella that didn't involve how she was going to kill me in six months before the reception tonight

Oh, _bugger _it.

-------------------------------------------------

The bridesmaids, Bella, and I were all stuffed in Bella's room just before the wedding started. We were all sitting on Bella's bed, while some of the slaves applied Bella's panstick, did her hair, etc. I had a nice conversation with Cissa and Kaida Malfoy. Kaida's _very_ nice; she doesn't seem at all like the rest of her family.

Which probably means she's next.

Oh, hell, I have _got_ to stop thinking like that.

A knock was heard, which sent all the girls into spasms. "Maybe it's _Rod_!" Cissa said in between giggles.

"It's - it's Stan," came Stan's voice. "The organ's just started to play…er…are you ready to come downstairs?"

"Andromeda," called Bella, almost playfully. "Do I look ready to come downstairs?"

I looked over at Bella. Her dark, long hair was up in some fancy, twisty deal; her dress was snow white, strapless with a fitted bodice and a billowing skirt; her fierce, dark eyes were lined with kohl, and her lips looked redder than ever. "You look gorgeous, Bella."

"Well, if my maid of honor says so…we're coming, Stan." Bella looked around at her bridesmaids, who looked like they were going to die of the thrill.

I walked beside Stan in the hallway towards the flight of stairs that Bella would walk down to get married in the foyer. Stan was being extra-nice to me, since I was walking down the stairs on his arm. Apparently, somebody (Bella) told him that I got pissy and stroppy when I didn't like someone. Honestly. Which, as anyone who knows me well can, is not true. I haven't killed Lucius Malfoy yet, for example.

"So, Andromeda…you look lovely," Stan said nervously. I was wearing the bridesmaids' uniform of a light pink dress, similar to Bella's in style (but with straps, due to Cissa's being fourteen). I hadn't had a go at the makeup slaves, so I was wearing my usual of panstick, lipstick, and _minimal_ mascara. I wasn't hideous, but definitely not _lovely_. "I got you a corsage, as sort of a friendly gesture, since were sister- and brother-in-law now…and…well, here." He took the box out of his pocket and slid it on my wrist. My goodness, what was this? The prom?

"Thanks." I grinned at Stan's adorable shyness. He couldn't give Ted a run for his money, of course. That, and the fact that he was part of the death conspiracy. _Must not think of impending doom, must not think of impending doom…_

The first bridesmaid-groomsman couple descended down the stairs. My breath was taken away by the amount of people inside the foyer. _Oh, merde…_

Soon, Kaida and Orpheus Singleton, the last bridesmaid-groomsman couple, stepped down the stairs. Stan and I counted to twenty aloud, as instructed at the rehearsal. After twenty, we laughed at ourselves, counting aloud like in primary school.

Stan grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Well, Andromeda…here we go!"

-------------------------------------------

Dear Ted,

Thankfully, everyone's left, and the other people in my family are preoccupied so I can write like an intelligent human being, thank God.

Well, the wedding is over and done with. Bella looked drop-dead gorgeous, which is usually the case, as any male will tell you (yes, even you). Rod looked rather dashing, but so did Lucius (gag me, please), so it must have been the tuxes.

The wedding was proceeding like a usual wedding (i.e. BORING). I almost took a little zizz, but Kaida Malfoy pinched my forearm and kept me awake. Honestly, Kaida is a goddess. She's not at all like her prat brother. A common misconception, Kaida told me.

When I'd get extra bored (like when the minister gave his homily-thingy or whatever it's called), I'd focus on the beautiful wedding cake at the back of the foyer, just sitting on a platter like a foretaste of what was to come. I could practically hear it thinking: "Oh, yes…you want to eat me…I'm just so luscious…" (sorry, I was really _bored). _

The minister had just started the "Bellatrix, do you…?" dealie when disaster struck in the form of three house-elves.

Tinky grabbed the bouquet out of Bella's hands and shredded it with his long, pointy fingers. "This is the bouquet Tinky was supposed to make for Mistress Bellatrix!"

Another house-elf, Bedelia, tore a large portion of Bella's skirt off. "Bedelia was supposed to make Mistress Bellatrix's dress!"

It continued on much in the same manner, which ended with Patunk pushing over the lovely, beautiful cake. It fell over in slow motion; I sweat, it fell for at least five minutes before hitting the marble floor. Mum got up and yelled, "No!_" except I imagined her saying "no" in slow motion, though, which made me chuckle. Kaida nudged me, but it was too late: the Evil Skeleton was staring daggers at me. _

The minister, noticing Mum's growing uneasiness, quickly said, "BellatrixdoyoutakeRodolphustobeyourlawfullyweddedhubandforricherorforpoorerforbetterorforworseinsicknessandinhealthtildeathdoyoupart?" (I swear on Merlin's smalls, Ted, it sounded just like that.)

After Bella said her "I do," the minister did the same for Rod. Once Rod had said, "I do," the minister said, "Ipronounceyoumanandwifekissthebride," and ran out of the foyer ahead of Bella and Rod.

The guests, obviously, were a wee bit confused about what to do, but luckily, Mum stood at the front and said, "Obviously, this didn't go as planned. Seeing as Winky, Bedelia, and Patunk destroyed everything we'd need for a reception, we're going to cancel it. Narcissa will be handing out gift bags as you leave -" (here she glared at Cissa, making her get the gift bags) " - Thank you."

I couldn't believe it. NO SPEECH. Oh my goodness, there hadn't been such rejoicing since EVER in my mind.

As Cissa scurried to the back to hand out gift bags, Mum grabbed my wrist and took me to the Red Room. Here she went full-on Evil Skeleton.

_"Were you behind that dreadful house-elf attack, Andromeda?" she asked calmly enough. _

"No, Mother," I said. Which is totally honest! I didn't even hear Sirius, and if I had, I would have put the kibosh on it…

…Maybe. I am_ only human after all. _

"Andromeda, lying is a very _ugly habit. Nobody likes liars. Liars are ugly and shallow cowards who are afraid to take their punishment. Now you wouldn't want to be counted among their number, now would you?" _

"But I'm not lying." Somebody _wasn't an Legilimens. _

"Do not_ lie to me, Andromeda." _

"BUT I'M NOT_!" _

"Andromeda Stentley Black, did you just raise your voice at me?"

"But Mum - Mother, you're being ridiculous -"

"I didn't ask if I was being ridiculous, I asked if you raised your voice at me."

"I don't know, you were there," I said, sarcastically. Yes, I know you're probably yelling at me now, Ted, but she was being such a bitch, acting like I was guilty until proven innocent.

"Impudence!_" Mum roared. "First, conspiracy with the house-elves; then, falsehoods; _then_, you raised your voice at me, and now _impudence_! If you think you are leaving your room for the rest of the holiday, I regret to inform you that you are _mistaken_!" _

Honestly, Ted, be glad you have Housewife of Britain for a mum. You could have a conniving, evil skeleton.

Before he left, Sirius came upstairs and apologized for getting me in trouble. He then grinned. "It was_ excellent, though." _

"It was brilliant_, Sirius. Love you." I gave him a giant bear hug._

_He looked up at me in the midst of our hug and said, "You know, you're my favourite cousin, Andromeda."_

_And I stared him in the eye and said, "You're my favourite, too."_

_Sooo now I have to wait out the rest of hols in my room, so don't be surprised if you get owls about how attractively the paint on my wall is peeling. I love you forever and for always._

_Yours always, __Andromeda_

**A/N: Please, please review. And tell your friends to review. Start a chain reaction!**


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